A new challenge! ideas please

Terrible, life shattering news. Readers Digest is going bust. Shock horror! what will I and thousand others like me read while in the loo? how will I increase my word power or discover how eating 15kg of asparagus a day can ward off testicular cancer? Can I live without Laughter the best medicine and Humour in uniform?

To fill the gaps between adverts for stair lifts, hearing aids and incontinence pants (which suggests to me that I am not the target demographic) Readers Digest has tasters of new books and specially commissioned articles, usually of an adventurous or biographical nature. This months edition was no different with a piece where the journalist spends a whole week in silence with humorous observations resulting from this. The writer draws witty and thought provoking lessons from his experience to enrich and challenge the reader.

One book that was previewed in the Readers Digest has been turned into the new Jim Carey film 'Yes Man' where Jim Carey's character can only answer yes to every question, the film was inspired by a Danny Wallace real life book where he discovers how liberating it is to actually take every opportunity.

This got me thinking, I have some spare time and fancy a challenge. What crazy challenge could I undertake, then write a book about it and then sell the rights to Hollywood for millions of pounds? though to be fair I am not sure who they would get to play me, Hugh Grant I think, though he would need to work out a bit for the role.

Ideas for challenges I have had so far:

• Change my name to 'Jock McStrap' and wear nothing but a kilt and subsist on a diet of Haggis and porridge for a month (the only downside I can see is that it may traumatise the ducks whose eyes would unfortunately be below kilt level. also there is a strong risk of excessive flatulence)
• Travel around the country with nothing but a twenty four can pack of Asda's budget baked beans with which to barter for transport food and accommodation. (also runs risk of flatulence)
• In the style of Yes Man and the vow of silence challenge I could undertake a grammatical challenge along the lines of only using words with the letter P in for a week or refusing to use vowels. (conversation would be limited to sentences involving fly, sty, my and pry - it may be hard to write a book about it)
• Travel around the world staying in 5 star hotels and sleeping with beautiful women every night. (I am not sure what the challenge is but I am actively seeking a funding sponsor)

Mrs G had a few ideas as well but hers where mainly along the lines of my doing all the washing up and housework everyday or giving up sex for a year. Her ideas obviously have no artistic or literary credibility so I will therefore disregard them.

Any ideas would be welcomed! In tomorrow's blog I will tell you what happened when I was fencing yesterday and unknowingly put a post into a wasps nest, with hilarious consequences.